What a difference a day makes

Yesterday felt like the first real day of spring here in Seattle.
It must have been a good 65 degrees. I went and sat out on our balcony for a few minutes to soak it all in. Everyone seemed cheery, and the Ride the Duck tours were in full gear. (They always drive by here and sometimes they'll look up and wave to us on the balcony, always makes me smile.)

I also tied up some loose ends with my infatuation, which felt wonderful. Got some stuff off my chest, and so did he. I'm beginning to understand that he's really not as bad of a guy as I thought, but i'm still going to be cautious, just in case.

I went home after working at the gym, and sat around with some girlfriends watching "The Descent"
Good stuff. We all had a good amount to drink, and pretty sure I almost peed my pants on several occasions. We all went to bed, and I started texting mr. infatuation. It's funny cause I can't really see myself dating him or anything, but I absolutlely go weak when he's close by. It's weird, I hang out with a lot of guys, but just this one in general makes me go into my own world and daydream. Very strange, but i love it.

All in all, yesterday was a great day.

Of course today is cloudy and cold, but at least my daily tarot reading says I have a good day in store for me.

Oh how I hate the dating pool

My mother has been single since she and my dad divorced in 1985.

She reads romance and sci fi novels, travels to Mexico each year with her girlfriends, is addicted to shopping on ebay, and for the most part, leads a relaxed and content life.

I've been testing the waters in the dating pool now for about a year. At times I enjoy it. It's nice to do things on my own, and prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to.

It's also nice to go out on several dates and meet new people. (And come on, the free dinner and wine doesn't hurt either!)

Some dates are good. Some... you just have to laugh about, becuase you can't really cry in front of the idiot, who just so happens to be talking about his ex wife who cheated on him and got pregnant with someone elses kid while they were still married..... yikes. Spare me.

One date, the guy even asked me to pay for half the meal, and while riding down the elevaor to the parking garage said "Next time you're so paying for the whole thing, you're an expensive date!"

Which is why all you can do is laugh about it, and enjoy the free food and drinks. (Especially the drinks.)

Whenever my grandparents call me, which I enjoy hearing from them as I only see them about twice a year, the first question that comes out of their mouth is: "How's your boyfriend, dear?" Grandma, you know that (ex's name) and I have been apart for over a year. "Well do you have another boyfriend?" No, Grandma, and i'm perfectly happy being single. "Oh don't worry, you'll find someone soon, and get married and have babies." Oh thank goodness Grandma, I was scared for a second there, but now that you've reassured me... well I feel much better. "Just don't end up like your mom, being single in your 50's is just sad" OK Grandma, got it. How about I just buy 10 more cats, and I can be the creepy cat lady I always dreamed of being??

If you're single, everyone's first reaction is, "Oh well don't worry, you'll find someone soon."

If you're dating someone, it's "You guys have been together for 3 years and he hasn't proposed yet?? I'm sure he will soon.."

If you're married its" "When are you two planning on having children? Don't wait too long! You want to be around for their wedding day, don't you?"

When is it ever enough?

My sister married at 24. (keep in mind, i'm 23) She now has two kids, whom I absolutly adore. She and her husband still show affection to each other, and are very good parents.

As far as I know, my Grandma never pushed her like she does me.

You know what? I'm happy. I'm in no hurry to settle down, being that if I married someone too soon, it would most likely end in divorce anyways, and who am I kidding... I don't have the energy for that crap. (Or the money!!)

To my Grandma: I'm fine, really. And i'm sure I'll meet someone someday who makes me happy. But for now, i'm in no hurry.

PS. Please take down that picture of me and (ex's name) off your refrigerator. I look horrible in it.

Road rage, a good start to a Tuesday morning

So i'm driving on 520 this morning, about to come up to the bridge, and i'm in the very left hand lane. (Always moves the fastest) And this car thats in the very right hand lane zips through both lanes and completely cuts me off, then puts on his brakes, resulting in my brake action.
So I think, screw this, this guy's crazy and there's no way I'm staying behind him.
So I get over one lane, and there's plenty of room in front of him. (Why did he brake?!) I get in front of him. He is SO not happy. Freaking turns on his brights and rides my ass until I take the exit I needed.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. Drivers in Seattle are THE WORST.
What was the point of all that? Did you just have too much coffee this morning? Seriously get a life. Put on some calming music, Bach works for me, and take a big breath in, now out. Breathe through your nose and calm down.

Now, try to drive like a big boy before you cause an accident.

Sleazy like Monday morning.

So lets see, we lost an hour yesterday, it's raining outside, and my pants are still slightly wrinkled.

I love Mondays.

How do we know when to stop?

There's a certain someone that I find myself absolutly infatuated with. I get nervous around him, I can't help smiling when he's around me. And it probably doesn't help that I've been reading nothing but sappy romance novels with steamy scenes..
Here's the problem, after about 3 or so months of "seeing each other" he completely stopped talking to me. One minute, he's coming over to spend the night, the next NOTHING. Now, he's saying how much he's missed spending time with me, and that he does really like me, he's just a big relationship-phobe. I've said before that I'm starting to realize that alot of men are just.. well.. bad news. (To put it lightly.)But for some reason I can't help being more drawn to those guys! It's sooo bad for me and I know it'll just end in heartache... so how do I know when to stop?
Is he just saying these things because I'm a rebound, and the whole time he stopped talking to me, he had someone else wrapped around his finger? Or is he being genuine in saying he's missed me and does actually really like me? Who know's? I've almost given up on trying to read men.
I've been very upfront with him lately, telling him that I like him alot, but that maybe I'm just not the type of girl he's looking for.
I'm not looking for anything serious, like I've said before- between a full time and part time job, while maintaining my personal at home life, I don't have the time or energy for something serious. But even so, have some resspect for the person you're "seeing."

I'm at a loss with what to do.

....must.....stay.....strong.....


I'll update you further.

Aren't we too old for this by now?

If I like a guy, i'm going to show interest. Plain and simple. What's with this stupid high school like game we play with the opposite gender? Call me an old lady but I really don't get it.
I've known this guy for about 8 months now, we'll call him Casey. He's really sweet, likes to cuddle up and watch scary movies (one of my all time favorite things to do) and has proven himself to be a good friend. He even bought me groceries when he heard from my good friend that I wasn't eating enough. He actually came over and lectured me... yikes.
So I sometimes go over to his place, we wach movies, eat some dinner and drink some cheap beer, and usually end up staying the night there. Works out pretty well. He doesn't want anything really serious, and I wouldn't have time for a relationship.
Well, we had plans to hang out last night, and he never called. Was I supposed to call him maybe? He finally text me around 9:30pm...

Casey "Thanks for the movie tonight, it was fun. We should do it again soon."
Me "Excuse me! You never called me!"
Casey "Don't even try it, you have a phone too"
Me: "Still wanna hang out?"
Casey: "I have some stuff to do around the apt, want to reschedule? We can go see a movie another night if you want"

Now this is where I started to write, "K what night are you thinking?"
My friend Jason is sitting next to me, and says something like "What are you doing? You're acting too interested! You have to play the game with him!"
Ok now I used to play this stupid game in Highschool, but thought we were all past this.
So he told me to just write back "sure"
Wow, how annoying, now I have to wait for him to call me... fan-freakin-tastic.