My free of charge therapy...

I never watched Sex and the City when it was actually on TV.
About 3 years ago, on Christmas Eve, my ex boyfriend bought me the first season on dvd, thinking I may enjoy it. From there, I was gone.
I grew attached to the characters easily. I related to all of them, in different ways.

Charrie: hopeless romantic, very philosophical, making humor out of the awkward moments in life. Charlotte: Sweet and innocent, a bit naive, well mannered. Samantha: ok.... we're all a little bit of Samantha. Don't deny it. Miranda: Very independant, sinical, smartass, likes her personal space and alone time.

Once I finished the first season, I went straight to Target and bought the second, knowing it would practically pay for itself with the amount of times I would watch it. Each new season I bought, i rushed home, curled up on the couch, got a glass of Chateau St. Michelle, and watched the whole season in one sitting. Once the credits started rolling for the very last episode, I was in a state of shock. Oh this isn't good.... that's the very last one?? Ever?? I remember feeling like I didn't know what do to with myself, it was bad.

Fast forward a few years later, during the worst breakup i've yet had to experience. I felt lost, deceived and beside myself with anger. I'm not sure what sparked me to put in Sex and the City, but it was the best thing I could have done for myself at that point in time. I found that after each episode ended, I felt better about myself, more confident, and hopeful for the future. Carrie dated a guy named Aiden around the 3rd or 4th season. They were madly in love, moved in together, she thought she found "the one". Turns out he wanted more than she was ready for at the time, and they went through a heartwrenching breakup. But she was eventually ok. She had her friends to rely on, and they helped her through. She saw him a year or so later, holding his new son. They were both happy to see each other, said their hello's, how are you's, and I'm glad you're doing well, take care of yourself. She had survived her heartache, and moved on. Their relationship had always felt like mine and my ex's. They were so close, so madly in love that they didn't want to live without each other, had some hard times but always came back... but in the end it just wasn't enough.

Sometimes you need to realize that other people go through the same thing you may be going through. That things aren't as bad as they may seem, and believe it or not, whatever the situation, it too shall pass.

Sex and the City is totally my free therapy. Works like magic with every episode I watch. I watched some of season 5 last night, before falling asleep on the couch (I'm tellin ya, total granny, its pathetic..) and when I went to bed, turned off the lights, brought my cat to bed, I felt so calm and peaceful.

Need some therapy but can't afford the insane pricing? Go pick up Sex and the City. You'll thank me.

Women at the clubs make me laugh

So a friend of a friend of mine, had her 23rd birthday party at Tabella's in Seattle this last weekend. She instructed before hand that it was to be a Barbie themed party... ok.

So all of us gals dressed in our cutest dresses, curled our hair, and made ourselves gorgous. Whenever I go out with one girlfriend in particular, I always have a blast. We dance until our feet hurt. Have drinks bought for us by cute men, and sometimes make some new friends in the womens bathroom.

However, you can always bet you'll see a clique or two of those "fake, superficial, orange skin, overly white teeth, and fake boobed" girls.

I used to just despise them. Now, I find humor in them. My favorite thing about them, is when I catch them checking themselves out in the large mirrors every 3 minutes. Pretty sure you look the same now than you did 3 minutes ago. I feel like they're more concerned with impressing people than they are with the main reason of going to a club- HAVING FUN!!! Are you really enjoying yourself, being as self concious as you're being? There's no way.

I do my hair and makeup before I go out, yes. But I go out to dance with my girlfriends and laugh at sleazy 30 something men who think the perfect pick up line is: "You must have jsut fallen from heaven, cause, baby, you look like an angel to me." Can I please just quickly tell you what I do to these guys? I tell them I'm from some foreign place. One time it was Africa, last weekend it was Australia. And I make up elaborite details about my life to try and scare them away. Last weekend, I was visitng from Australia, and had just gotten out of jail for murdering my cheating boyfriend and the girl I caught him sleeping with. I can't even explain to you the thrill I get when doing this. And of course, if a nice, presentable guy comes up and is polite enough to buy me a drink, I'll talk to him. I'll give him a chance. I'm just referring to those gross, sleazy, dirtbag guys who honestly think they're taking someone home with them.

But back to the point of my whole rant. Fake conceited girls who's goal in life is to be perfect looking, with the perfect car and annoying dog to match.

Now, I'm comfortable with my body. I've started working out lately, and toning my arms and legs and stomach. I like who I am as a person, I think I'm mature for my age, and I love that I'm known in the office as an "old soul". So why the heck is it that whenever i'm around these girls, I get so intimidated? In all reality, i'm sure they're not all that interesting to have a conversation with. Do they keep up to date with politics? Do they make it a point to voulunteer in their community? Do they even do their own laundry? Who knows! The only image they're giving out, while flashing everyone their little thong at the club, is that they're cheap and easy, and to be honest, probably very insecure. I almost feel bad for them. I imagine them waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror, and saying "Wow, I really am absolutly beautiful. But oh my god, my nose, it's ruining my whole look. That'll be next on my list of things to fix."

Maybe they don't even do that, lol, i don't know. I could just be making that up. But that's the image I get. And I think anyone who obsesses over themselves like that, cannot be truly happy.

My advice: Go take a long walk on some neighborhood trails by yourself, and take time to really think about what makes you happy, and what you want out of life. Do something that you enjoy, and don't worry if it's "nerdy" or "different", it's your life, don't obsess over what other people think. Go to a movie or lunch by yourself. You don't need anyone else to have a good time. If you're comfortable enough with yourself, you should be able to entertain yourself, and not feel self conscious. (Good lesson my mother once taught me.)

Do what makes you truly happy, not what you think others want of you. And for shoots sake, lay off on the bronzer a bit. Believe it or not, it's actually not flattering on you.

Have I actually met an honest to goodness "Good Guy?"

There's this guy that I dated last summer for a little bit, but had lost touch with him, due to his ex girlfriend coming back into the picture. She was having some problems, and he wanted to be with her to help her. I understood, was disapointed, but understood completely.

Well... they broke up a few months ago, and he and I have been talking again.

He's very mellow, doesn't really have any drama or baggage, and doesn't mind driving all the way out to my apt to see me. Like lastnight, he wanted to take me out to some friends birthday party, but I was sooo tired from our Shareholder Meeting at Impart that I asked to take a rain check. He was completely cool with it, and ended up coming over just to watch a half hour of Sex and the City with me. Then just went home. Seriously, this is a good guy. I'm turning into a big fan.

I like being single and all, but its sooooo nice to have someone to talk to. Want to know a secret? There's something my ex boyfriend used to do that would always make my heart melt. We lived together in this old, crappy apartment in Kirkland.. and I'm such a granny that i'm known for falling asleep on the couch by 10pm.. My ex would always turm off the tv, turm off all the lights, pick me up and carry me to bed. Tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. I remember being halfway asleep whenever he'd do this, and i'd always feel so peaceful and happy. Like when your parents would carry you to bed and tuck you in... except then he'd sleep right next to me..

Well the other night, my new guy came over and we were cuddling on the couch, and i was obviously falling asleep on his arm, and he gently picked me up, walked me to my room and placed me in bed. Tucked me in, kissed my forehead, turned out the lights and said he'd call me tomorrow. I love it.

Point of all this?

I'm excited. I like him.