One piece of advice that my therapist has always given me is to play the dating field before settling down and getting married. I've definitely had my fair share of dating, as a single gal in her late twenties. And like most women, I've had a mixture of great relationships and fun sexual flings. Of course we also have to account for the "douche bags" we've all dated. I like to think there's a mixture of douche bags. Let's go over some of them that I've had the pleasure of dating. Let me know if I'm missing any.
The oblivious Douche Bag: This douche bag may mean well, but usually only cares about his own needs, and often overlooks their partners needs/wants. They don't know they have issues, and probably never will. They're too busy being off in La La Land. This could be remedied if you feel this man is worth it, but would take a lot of time and effort, and as we all know, it's hard to teach an old douche bag new tricks.
The Jekyll and Hyde Douche Bag: This douche bag may seem like a great catch at first. Amazing first dates, sweet nothings, amazing sex, making future plans and telling you how much he really likes you and cares about you. Then BAM! Out of nowhere its like Mr. Hyde finally comes out of hiding when he has a few drinks in him. Stay far away from these men, this will drive you crazy in the long run and they obviously have some maturing to do.
Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am Douche Bag: Depending on how you look at it, this is one of the worst of his kind. You meet, he obviously is very attracted to you. Makes a lot of effort to hang out with you. Seems genuinely interested. After weeks of hanging out, you finally do the awesome dirty deed. Then Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am - He's disappeared! Weird, I thought we were having a good time. No need to linger on these, they obviously got what they wanted. If it was good sex - just view it as that. If not, Damn, that sucks for you.
And finally the worst of them all: The Master Manipulator Douche Bag.
This species has serious mental issues when it comes to relationships, and you my dear are their lucky victim. Maybe they had a really bad dating experience when they were younger and they were never able to move on from it. So now, they feel the need to always be in the dominant position, to feel powerful, manipulating you to an extreme, pulling no stops - to make themselves feel like more of a man. They will act like your closest friend, make you feel like you can tell them anything - only to lie to your face and string you along. He always finds a way to get on your good side again, and it's always difficult to stay away. It takes a lot of self control to leave this kind and could take years. This type will damage you the most in the long run.
After a single gal has dated so many different types of douche bags - how do we go into a hopeful new relationship without being cynical? If I meet someone who seems great, we have a connection and I'm genuinly excited, how do I look at it with an open mind instead of letting my cynical self take over?
Is it possible to seperate my feelings, and by doing so, am I just setting myself up again?
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
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